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Thursday, November 11, 2010

Enough of the Neglect

Hey everyone,
I'm so sorry that I haven't been blogging lately.  I've been finding myself in a bit of a funk lately and being as I try to convey positivity and good feelings on here, I thought it would be best that I stay away for awhile.  But I had an epiphany in the shower this evening/morning.  Nobody really expects me to be happy all the time.  People's lives are full of high and lows, it makes us human and keeps us grounded.

So, I have a question for you guys.  I wanted to reserve asking questions until I built a bigger following being as I'd hate to look like a looser if I didn't receive any responses, but I'll try to keep my big boy pants on and a box of tissues on hand.  So here's the question: Do you think that there is someone out there for everyone?  Or are there only others out there for some, while the rest of us are left collecting up friends to feel complete?

Kinda deep and dark I know but it's a very real mental mind fuck that many people torture themselves with daily, myself included.  I've make the decision that relationships are difficult, they take a lot of time and a lot of work and usually end in heartbreak.  With this in mind, it seemed only healthy not to concentrate on searching out such things and instead concentrating my efforts on school and further myself as a person.  So, after putting this mindset into action, I find that my social needs aren't being met.  What is wrong with me?

So, I begin scouring gay social networking sites, looking to build new friendships with people like me.  Problem is this: The people that I find to be genuinely awesome people that I would like to build a friendship with are looking for love or sex.  The people who are looking for friendships share no common interests.  Couple this with the fact that my college career seems to be going down the tubes at a rapid rate and the result is Sad Matt.  The only way I know how to deal with sadness is to throw anger at it... thus, we have Mad Matt.

Any thoughts???

Monday, October 18, 2010

Labels VS Stereotypes

Hey everyone,
For this week's vlog, I decided I would talk a little bit about my take on labels and stereotypes. I think Monday night will be the official day for new videos, so mark your calenders and make sure you are following me on Facebook so that you can receive updates. Hope you enjoy...



Sunday, October 17, 2010

The Best Song of the Year

Hey everyone,
While I was doing my daily YouTubing, I came across this video of a song done for the Trevor Project.  I've watched it like 10 times now and it gives me chills everytime.  I figured I would share it with you all.  Hope you enjoy it.  Oh, and I will be uploading my new video tomorrow using the internet at the school... I guess that's what I get for living out in the sticks.



Thursday, October 14, 2010

M@tt + Life = Love

Hey everyone,
I just thought I would give you guys a quick update regarding my life. It's absolutely fantastic. Since I have come out I have found so much support in a world that I thought was only full of evil. With the help of my blog and my YouTube channel, I'm networking, I'm making new friends and I'm loving every minute of it. All of my past relationships with friends and family seem so much better... so much stronger.

I feel this overwhelming amount of love from the outside world that in no way can be measured. I am excited about the progress of my life and I'm ready to embrace it's ups and downs and twists and turns rather than running from them. My pessimism is turning into optimism. At this point, I think I could lock myself in a room by myself for any amount of time and never feel one ounce of sadness... To those of you who know me, you know what a big deal that is.

So, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone. I want to tell you all that I love you from the bottom of my heart. Your support has helped to shape me into the person that I am today and I will be forever in your debt. I only hope that one day I will be able to help you all as much as you have helped me. <3

So much love to you all,
XOXO




Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Don't Hate Me.... ***UPDATED WITH PART II***

My ensemble for National Coming Out Day!
Hey everyone,
A few days ago I decided that I was going to make a video on National Coming Out Day and do a coming out video all in one.  I shot the video, edited it, and then figured out that I had to split it into two parts.  So, I got the first part uploaded and I wanted to get the second part uploaded before I made this post... but I don't really know how long that's going to take.

This is like my 15th attempt at uploading part two, and it's just not working... either my connection drops or the YouTube site is down for maintenance... blah blah.  So, I decided to go ahead and post the first part of the vlog and then once I finally get the second half uploaded I'll post that as well.

Oh, and this would be a great time to give you guys the link to my YouTube channel so that you can follow that as well if you wish...--> Click here! 

So here's part one, a little late I know, but I'm doing the best I can with my garbage internet... :(




***AH-HA! PART 2 IS FINALLY UPLOADED... SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG...





Friday, October 8, 2010

National Coming Out Day : Monday, October 11th

Hey everyone,
I have just found out that this Monday (October 11th) is National Coming Out Day!  Honestly, I am shocked that I am just finding this out.  To me, this would mean that many people aren't making a big deal out of this.  But, this is a HUGE DEAL!  It is so important for our homosexual population to express who they are and even more important, I believe, for our heterosexual friends to show their support for us.

So to all my fabulous gay people out there... come Monday I expect to see you representing us.  I encourage you to wear gay pride symbols (triangles, lambdas, rainbows) on your clothing and jewelery.  To those of you who have been open for a while, don't forget that by walking around proudly displaying who you are, you may help those who are running from it.  It might even save somebody's life.

And to all my equally fabulous heteros... show us your support.  Whether you take a stand for us through something as bold as your clothing or even with something as simple as an informative status update, it will be greatly appreciated.  It is not only important to show us your support, but to stand up against those who are against us.  It is because of you wonderful straight people and your willingness to accept a lifestyle that is completely opposite from your own that allow us to be ourselves, to not be ashamed, and to again see the beauty that this world has to offer.

Keep loving yourself... Keep loving each other...
Muah for now <3

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

My Life-Changing Decison

Hey everyone,
Well, I did it... I changed my major!  I've been thinking about it the past few days and couldn't quite make up my mind.  Previously, I was majoring in accounting.  While this is something that I would be very good at, I felt like I would get burnt out on it once I made it out into the workforce.  Nothing like a 9-5 full of repetition...

So I started thinking about what else I could do that would be fun, and different, and exciting!  After a few days of getting nowhere I finally figured it out.  The answer has been sitting in front of me for a week.  I've been having such a great time creating videos for my YouTube channel, and updating and promoting my blog... why not go to school for something similar?

I am now majoring in Digital Media with a specialization in Web Design.  I'm super excited!  I was a little worried because my whole family is so supportive of the accounting thing, but I think this is because they knew I was so adamant about it.  But after trying to preach to others to be exactly who they are and to live their lives in a way to make themselves    happy, I decided to take my own advice.  I can't wait to finish up this semester so that I can start my new classes.  I haven't been this excited about something in a long time and if you aren't happy for me, that's okay, because I am!

Muah for now <3

1st Vlog - Own Yourself

Hey everyone,
Well, I finally got around to making my first video for the blog.  This is the FIRST video I've ever done, so be kind.  I'm a terrible public speaker.

So without further ado...



Let me know what you think.
Muah for now <3

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Tragedy Strikes... Yet Again.

Hello everyone,
This morning I woke up to find a page in my inbox sent to me by my good friend Laura.  I had already heard this story on the news a few days back, but wasn't aware of all the details, so thanks for that Laura :)

Basically, there was been another gay related suicide, this time ending in Tyler Clementi taking his own life by jumping off the George Washington Bridge after his roommate and one of the roommate's friends broadcasted Clementi having sex with another man live over the internet on two separate occasions.  You can read the full story here : Suicide Follows A Secret Webcast and/or watch the video below for more details.



This is definitely a reality check to many, including myself.  While homosexuality is said to be becoming more accepted, it becomes apparent that whatever advances we have made just aren't enough.  There are so many people out there that are being tormented day in and day out.  There are so many people out there who are afraid to be who they are.  This isn't okay!

I was just having this conversation the other night with my slightly homophobic grandmother, who in the same breath condemns me for my sexuality and claims to be for equal rights.  I sometimes wonder what the world would be like if the roles were reversed.  What if homosexuality was the "norm" and heterosexuals were the outcasts.  I am convinced that things would be different because to quote one of my favorite movies, "we mean you no harm".--Straight Jacket

I, of course, am not saying that all straight people torment gay people, please don't misunderstand me there.  The majority of my friends are straight people, and they are wonderful, but I feel that I may be one of the lucky ones.  I haven't really had to endure any hate crimes to speak of other than a spoonful of scrutiny.  My own mother gave me shaving tips when I came out!

The most important thing that I can express to everyone this morning is this... If you know a homosexual, open or closeted, be there for them.  Talk to them.  You don't have to agree with their lifestyle.  I just ask that you accept it.  If you don't show compassion for these people, they may be gone before you know it.

The simple gesture of reaching out a hand to those who are struggling can help prevent these tragedies such as with Tyler Clementi.

I would also like to dedicate the following song to those of you who feel scared, alone, sad, hurt, hopeless and over it.



Live, laugh, love yourself, and love others.  Life is too short not to.

Muah for now <3

Friday, October 1, 2010

A Public Service Announcement

Hello everyone,
Today I am coming to you with my wonderful heterosexual friends in mind that have little ones at home. I had plans to meet up with a few of my friends tonight at a local sports bar to have a few drinks and catch up on all the gossip. These plans got changed however due to one couple's babysitter backing out on them... and for rather selfish reasons at that.

Mommy needs a break!
People, do me a favor... If you have a friend that is lacking a social life left due to their decision to procreate, take their kid every once in a while. I'm sure we all can spare one evening out of our fabulous lives now and then to create a little happiness for someone else.

There are so many people out there today that are only in it for themselves. I myself have been accused of it, and have tried desperately to make changes in myself to show others that I am a compassionate individual that is sensitive to other peoples needs. I suggest that many people do the same.

There are so many that say, "Well she's the one who got pregnant... let her deal with it." People don't realize that these are the type of people who need us the most. They feel alone and cut off from the world. Many regret their choices however they continue doing the responsible thing. They stay home and care for the life they created. I think this is quite admirable and I feel they deserve a break here and there.  What do you think?

MUAH for now... <3

Thursday, September 30, 2010

It Gets Better Project

Hey,
I just saw this on ABC News and knew that I had to share it with everyone.  It's called the 'It Gets Better Project'.  Basically, it's a YouTube channel for the LGBT community full of life stories letting today's kids know that life does get better after high school.  I found Dan and Terry's video to be quite inspirational.

I wish a resource like this was available to me when I was in school.  I was teased from day one, before kids really even knew what it meant to be gay, yet somehow I was teased for it.  I was never openly gay in school basically because I was afraid to be.  Even after I was out of school, I was afraid to be gay fearing rejection from friends and family.  I thought there was something wrong with me.  I thought that I needed to be fixed.  Needless to say, this wasn't the way I needed to be thinking.

This channel is definitely worth checking out.  You can visit it here : It Gets Better Project.

Even outside the LGBT community, this is a thought to keep in the back of your mind that can be applied to your day to day life.  Life is full of ups and downs.  Nobody's life is perfect, this is certain.  But stay positive!  Try to remember that it gets better.  Put life's hardships behind you and continue forward concentrating your energy on things that will better your situation.

Live, laugh, love and remember... it gets better!

THE HORROR

Hello everyone,
A shot of Davey Wavey from his Fan Page
Still trying to calm down a bit.  Ok, here goes... something kind of interesting has happened today.  First of all, I am an avid Davey Wavey follower.  He is actually one of the reasons that I started this blog.  I believe that he is a complete inspiration to the gay community and I feel I have learned a lot from him in the short time that I have been following him.  For those of you who don't know who he is, you can check him out on his blog: Break the Illusion.

Well, I got home from school today and decided to take a nap.  So, after waking up I log on to Facebook and begin scrolling through updates to see what I missed during my nap.  And then I saw it... I thought my eyes were deceiving me but no, there it was in black and white, well, blue and white... the update read "My grandmother (real name left out intentionally) likes How to Never Get Pissed Off Again! on Break The Illusion Blog by Davey Wavey".

My grandmother is new to the world of Facebook and is just getting reintroduced to the internet.  She had the internet a few years back, but we had her on AOL... needless to say, she gets a bit lost from time to time and sometimes figuring out what she is trying to say via her status updates takes some time.  So I figured, well... I must have liked this blog post myself and she must have seen the link and just decided to like it too,  much like when you see a post from your friend like "Susie likes It's Better to Have Loved and Lost Then To Never Have Loved At All" or some such garbage. I'm assuming most people are familiar with Facebook, for those of you who aren't, please forgive the lingo.  But upon further investigation, I realize that I never clicked 'Like' for that particular link.  So was my grandma being a Facebook stalker?  Does she even know how to do that?

Now, Grandma has never given me any grief about my lifestyle choice, which I find to be amazing due to how religious she is... but I wasn't the one to tell her that I was gay and I have heard that when she was told, her response was, "Well, a sin is a sin..."... kind of unsettling.  The problem is this : Davey Wavey's blog, while very inspirational and informative is full of shots of oily abs, guys in underwear, and cock talk.  I don't mind it, I actually prefer it... but what would my grandmother think???

Then I noticed her very next status update after liking the blog post.  It read, "afraid to ask what r u doing there".  This wasn't posted on my wall, it was directed at the world... but she has been known to send messages to people via photo comments of other people or posting a message she was trying to send to somebody as a status update.  It seems this update was meant to be directed to me, but it would seem foolish to jump to such conclusions, wouldn't it?

Anyway, I'm going to try and take the advice of my mentor, Davey Wavey.  The very blog post that created all of this drama, "How to Never Get Pissed Off Again", is a great video in itself.  He tells a story about him getting drenched by a car speeding through a puddle while he was out walking his dog.  He says that instead of getting pissed off about it, he used something called the alternate story technique.  This is where you create a story that makes the events that transpired less infuriating.  In this case, he decided that the driver may have been rushing to the hospital because his mother was ill or his child was hurt.  You can watch the video here : How to Never Get Pissed Off Again! 

So, let's try to apply it... alternate story, alternate story... Maybe she was... no.  Ummm, oh!  I bet she was... no that can't be it.  This is harder than I thought.  A little help please!  Can any of you come up with an idea as to what my sweet grandmother was doing on Davey Wavey's blog?

MUAH for now! <3

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Just created a Fan Page on Facebook!

Hey everyone,I just created a fan page for my blog on Facebook.  There is a link at the top right... check it out if you have a few minutes.

In other news, I think I may have finally gotten caught up with most of my homework today.  You have no idea what a relief that is.  Things have been pretty hectic lately.  I'm taking five classes this semester so it has become increasingly difficult to keep up with even the little things like washing the dishes or running the vacuum every once in a while.  I've been wanting to post a video on here but to be honest, there isn't a room in the house that is clean enough for me to record it.  Embarrassing, but true.  And once you factor in the distractions, like Facebook, blogging, Glee, and Family Guy, it becomes obvious that I have ZERO time. :)

Hopefully by the end of the weekend, I will have found the time to straighten up a little and upload a video or two.  If you have any ideas for the types of videos you would like to see posted, leave me a comment.  Until then... MUAH <3

Sorry Dad

Hi everyone,
I'm going to start this off by making a shocking announcement.  I'M GAY... sorry Dad.  But you know what?  I'm okay with that, and for those of you who aren't, you are on the wrong site.  This is my attempt at creating a place of love and understanding and any hatred or negativeness (Is that a word?) will be immediately removed.

With that said, I'd like to say that I'm very excited today to be starting this blog.  I'm am newly out of the closet (**SNAPS FOR MATT**) and am still getting acclimated to the lifestyle.  It has been an amazing journey for me that is far from over.  I believe that happiness is the foundation to a fantastic life, for through it all things are possible!

My expectation for this blog is that it will become a safe haven for all.  A place for us to share our experiences, lend a helping hand or word of advice, and have a lot of fun along the way!

So... drop me a line, leave me a comment, and subscribe if you wish.  And remember:
"If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" --RuPaul :)